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pwnz0rd that run

the run i didn't manage a couple days ago? got it fine today.

circus: new silks class is sort of depressing; i feel old and fat and slow. just gotta keep at it, i guess. in barre i have three goals: pirouette properly, stronger ankles, and no sickling in tendu.

i'm stressed about some other things (my dad being a git, my cat being old) but i just gotta keep on keeping on with those too, right?

running log

today i got through the first almost-a-mile at my 8:20 pace somehow, walked for five minutes, then crapped out at like .8 mile. bah. i should try again. i'm not convinced i can really keep up that pace; then again i'm not convinced i can't??? i was quite hot and out of breath after the first one. but that's already the longest i've run at that pace. i dunno, i guess i just gotta try again in a couple days.

in other news, loganberry jam is the freakin' best!
was having a horrible time with user support at the hospital job. finally gave up and took ofeigur out into the woods. just a little wtt in the forest with the elf on ljufur, all good and now i am happy :)

(kudos to waket and the elf for saying that going for a pony ride is good :))))

this is not a week off

0. we're between sessions at circus, and i have had two private silks lessons with sophia. i forgot to add that at the first one i also managed flamenco-hand arabesques (a skill that i have had and lost before)... and used the flamenco arabesque on one silk to get into cross-back straddle. today we did salto which was shockingly easy (invert, hook opposite side, reach overhead, wrap other leg, climb over, hold the tail in front) and a bunch of rebecca-split poses. SO MUCH FUN.

1. looks like next session i'll get silks of some sort (either a shared private or they'll add another class), handbalancing, barre 2, and straps. also running. running!

2. still looking for more students for riding for fall. starting to put together a lighting system for the arena so i can teach after dark....

status log, stardate TOO EARLY

i can't sleep, but my resting pulse is *47*.

feeling pretty good right now

0. worth mentioning for the long-term crowd that i am no longer on routine medication for my ptsd. i still take stuff pretty often, but no longer on a schedule. it's kind of amazing.

1. running is coming along. now doing 2.25 miles in 22:30, alternating walking at 2.7mph and running at 7.2 (8:20 mile) with occasional bursts a little faster. able to keep my heart rate >190 for 5 minutes! go me.

2. i just had a MOST AWESOME silks private lesson. worked on putting together stuff (russian climb, single star drop, double foot locks, crossback straddle invert, hip key to leg through to sit through to back balance). astonishingly i made it all the way on both sides, although i lose height at that last leg through and finish with "terrestrial aerials" (there was a planned knee hang that was just umm no :) singing "row row row your boat" the whole way through makes everything smoother, but more tiring!

3. schedule for next session still unclear; trying to arrange to share a private and maybe swap for riding lessons....

4. feeling not so comfortable with being 15# over my previous long-term weight? but it's hard to complain when the body is working so well. and knowing that really NOBODY GIVES A FLYING FUCK except me and that nebulous but heavy burden called "societal expectations".

5. radishes are a fantastic snack food.

i get up, i get down

yesterday was STUPID CRAZY HOT. i taught a lesson in the morning and then canceled the later ones because i didn't want the ponies to work in that. then what with this and that i then decided to go do two circus classes anyway.

my first class was silks. i took half of an anti-anxiety med before starting and i had a SUPER GREAT CLASS. maybe some of it is that the silks were super sticky in the heat and everything felt very locked on, or maybe i just was doing well? i did good half montes with backflip. my usual stars-are-fine. figured out that the "catch lock" is just the beginning of the star (same-side knee hook, wrap back leg). did some wacky s-wrap thigh shelf thing just fine. hip-key/split-silks/top-leg-through/sit-in-swing went great, and from there double-knee-hang pass-through-and-unwrap knee-hang-again turns out to give you some 501-level thigh wrap thing that excited my teacher. yay fun!

then handbalancing which was not awesome -- i CANNOT CONTROL MY RIBCAGE FLARING WTF I NEED TO WORK OUT. also i think i look awfully pudgy these days. so what, it's still all good.

next session i may end up in a silks semi-private to cover the class i didn't get, maybe in exchange for riding lessons -- wouldn't that be awesome....???

then back out to SUPER HOT FARM and taking care of the ponies, who are very good boys.

i tried getting up to see perseids, but between trees and clouds i got nuthin'. oh well.

keeping up

i've been doing a lot of socializing, and also running, so i've skipped some circus classes to save on spoons. not sure i'm thrilled with this. otoh i have managed to do all the stuff i actually did without any total meltdowns, so that's a win of budgeting, right?

next session is coming and i need to decide what i'm taking for circus. i'm not sure i want to stay in flexibility; it's probably good for me but it would probably be better if i attached practicing that to running instead (because more often). silks is my main squeeze. straps is difficult but i feel awesome for doing it. barre i could take either level 1 or 2 (and fuck up a lot but the teacher says they're ok with that). now is JUST THE WRONG MOMENT TO QUIT HANDBALANCING so i should really keep in it, even though the only instructor is this dude i think is wicked awesome but not, alas, one of the people i've historically made loads of progress with? hmph.

had a new student today who rode stjarni. she's a mom whose daughter rides, but she hasn't been taking lessons herself. i introduced her to the opening rein, and she's in love with the tolt since the open house, and she was kinda blown away with the good news about riding with one's seat. she's got finances to work out but i hope she continues; she's a fun student. also rode ofeigur myself and had a not-atypical reaction which is OMG I HAVE SUCH AN AWESOME HORSE!! -- today we got a lot of really good faster tolt. also he has zebra stripes on his legs in his summer coat, and i am SLAIN BY CUTE.

nothing much

. it's been stupid hot for weeks. today's ok, but rainy.

. today's riding student didn't show up. v annoyed.

. straps kinda leave my hands numb, but i haven't quit yet. silks 3 is ok but i don't feel like i'm making progress atm. i got all nervous in half monte, backed off and took a half-medication-dose, then did it fine. sigh.

. on week 4 of 10-week couch-to-5k. aiming for an 8:20 mile because seniormost runs his marathons at 8:30, ha.

progress

up to week 3 of couch-to-5k. got stuck on a treadmill where the "slow down" button didn't work and did a chunk of my first run quite fast and steep! still generally slogging away though.

BIG BREAKTHROUGH I KICKED UP TO WALL HANDSTANDS ALONE TWICE YESTERDAY!! regular teacher (who i adore) was gone, and my old friend marlon (whose elbow i used to kiatsu, back when i was taking cirque fit; he's in pro school in montreal now) was subbing. anyway marlon was kind of pushier with us (one of my classmates said "you might want to dial back your expectations":) and somehow that worked out really well for me. *is pleased*

i also did straps, took off of ballet and flexibility to stage a roommate intervention (it was stupid hot and we went and saw "finding dory" and ate seafood), and did silks this week. i am working on my 360 drops harder now, because my stars are satisfying for now. my wrists/hands aren't half bad considering.

all in all i'll take it :)